Finding Support as a Single Parent

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Names changed for privacy reasons.

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can be a daunting experience. These fears may be multiplied if you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy as a single parent. You may feel like this is something you have to figure out on your own, but it doesn’t have to be.

When a client comes to Avail, they get connected to a network of resources that fit their specific situation. Safe Families for Children (SFFC) is an organization that helps connect parents who feel overwhelmed and isolated to trained volunteers–called Family Friends–who support parents in their journey and connect them to a family-like community.

Joslyn’s Story

In February of 2022, Josyln, a 23 year-old single mother facing an unexpected pregnancy, was referred to SFFC by her personal advocate at Avail. With a high school diploma and limited resources, Joslyn was looking for connection, community, and security.

Joslyn was matched with Lauren, a Family Friend. As both Joslyn and Lauren committed to their friendship, the young mom began to see the benefits of her new community. During their time together, they exchanged countless texts and calls, met for family dinners, and bonded over their love of art and photography. Lauren encouraged Joslyn as she secured stable housing, pursued her realtor’s license, and navigated the ups-and-downs of an unexpected pregnancy.

At the end of their time together, Joslyn had accomplished her personal goals, connected on a deeper level with Lauren, and entered motherhood with a new sense of community and confidence. If you are a mom experiencing an unexpected pregnancy like Joslyn was, you may have some questions and concerns about how you can enter single parenthood confidently.

How Can I Receive Emotional Support During and After My Pregnancy if I Don’t Have Support People? 

If you don’t have supportive family or friends in the city, the idea of navigating an unexpected pregnancy by yourself may feel scary. This is a time when you will experience a variety of changes. Your body, relationships, job situation and more may look and feel different. It’s natural to want to have someone to talk to about the many, often overwhelming emotions that may come up during this transition. 
You don’t have to do it alone. At Safe Families, we want all parents to know they can have a sense of hope, support, and belonging as they navigate unique challenges. Part of our program is matching parents with Family Friends - carefully selected volunteers who want to do life with you. You’ll connect with them on a weekly basis for up to 6 months (or longer, as needed).
Family Friends will prioritize weekly calls to hear how you’re feeling, as well as in person meet-ups so you can connect face to face. Emotional support may look like weekly calls to process your feelings, or knowing you have someone to shoot a text to when things get hard. Or maybe you need tangible support like setting up a nursery space, cleaning the house, or getting childcare for a job interview.
Your Family Friend’s main goal is for you, the mother, to feel seen, supported, and cared for as you navigate an unexpected pregnancy. Every Family Friend relationship looks different, and is unique to your family and your needs.

What If I Don’t Feel Ready to be a Parent?

If you have made the decision that you want to be a parent, but don’t feel “ready,” you are not alone. An article published by BMC reported that less than 44% of parents felt confident in their parenting abilities prior to the birth of their first child. It’s important to remember that being a single parent doesn’t have to mean parenting by yourself.
At Avail, clients can process their unexpected pregnancy and their feelings about being a parent with personal advocates. Trained and experienced, personal advocates are dedicated to listening to your story, helping you process your emotions and situation, and offering helpful next steps that fit your goals. If motherhood is something you want to explore, you and your partner may be to Equip, a program for parents experiencing unexpected pregnancy.
Additionally, part of the Family Friend program at Safe Families is connecting to what we like to call a “Circle of Support.” Once you’re matched with your Family Friends, you will also connect with a Family Coach who will work with you to set goals for your time with SFFC. Attending parenting classes, finding online resources, accessing affordable counseling resources, or getting connected to local parenting groups are all realistic goals you can work towards.
Whether you’re getting support from a Personal Advocate at Avail or your Family Friend and Family Coach at SFFC, you don’t have to walk your journey alone. We will be there to help you accomplish the goals that you want to achieve. It’s our hope that your circle of support will widen as you accomplish your goals and learn more about being a parent!

I’m Worried About My Financial Situation as a Single Parent. Can I Get Help?

Yes! We understand that material support is an essential part of supporting our families. That’s why the Circle of Support is such an integral part of your place in SFFC. By being connected, you have someone you can talk to about any necessities that you may need help with.
When a need arises, we reach out to churches and community-based organizations in our network and ask for their support in filling these needs. Diapers, formula, grocery assistance, strollers, baby clothes, and children’s books are all normal asks for new parents. While we’re not always able to meet every need, we try to make sure that every parent has access to the essentials. 
In addition to providing for material needs, we want parents to feel educated and empowered to make the right choices for their family. Our Parent Engagement Team hosts workshops that assist with financial literacy, help you navigate government resources, and provide additional support as you accomplish your financial goals!

Help is Available

Single parenthood is undeniably difficult. But navigating the challenges of unexpected pregnancy can be easier with a Friend by your side. Learn more about Safe Families for Children or reach out to a Personal Advocate today. 

Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. We are not a medical provider.

Names changed for privacy reasons.

About the Author

At Safe Families for Children, we are honored to connect with parents all across New York City. Through our partnerships with Avail and other amazing organizations, we have experienced first-hand the resiliency of mothers experiencing unexpected pregnancy, and the benefits of connecting mothers to other members of their community. Our hope is to empower parents to live out the truth that they are the experts of their children by providing support, growing social connections, and connecting them with resources.

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